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Thread: It was a dark and stormy night...

  1. #1
    She who must be obeyed Super Moderator piaqt's Avatar
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    It was a dark and stormy night...

    Aug. 1, 2005 A software analyst who wrote of a woman's breasts inspiring visions of carburetors won a contest for the lousiest opening line in a fiction novel.
    Microsoft employee Dan McKay won top honors for bad writing on Thursday at the 23rd annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest in the California town of San Jose with the following prose:

    "As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."

    http://tlc.discovery.com/news/afp/20...e=msn_cml_news

    Last night, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
    love, piaqt

  2. #2
    Old and Cranky Super Moderator rik's Avatar
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    oh Baby I love it when you talk that way...

  3. #3
    Titanium Member
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    Hell, I could have had him beat

    "As he stared at her big ass bosom, he daydreamed of the dual S&S carburetors in his vintage sled, highly one off yet pleasingly comfortable, perched perky on top of the intake manifold, beggin' for rough treatment, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners ichin' to be inspected and twisted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."

  4. #4
    She who must be obeyed Super Moderator piaqt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lynchknot
    Hell, I could have had him beat
    Game, set and match, to lk!

    Last night, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
    love, piaqt

  5. #5
    Hardware guy Super Moderator FastGame's Avatar
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    no wonder Dan McKay and lynchknot don't get sex, women don't like greasy hands & the smell of gas

  6. #6
    Old and Cranky Super Moderator rik's Avatar
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    Well...the smell of gasoline anyway

  7. #7
    Near Life Experienced TZ Veteran zipp51's Avatar
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    Ahhhh nothing like a nice set of carburators.
    The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

  8. #8
    The Beast Master TZ Veteran PIPER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FastGame
    no wonder Dan McKay and lynchknot don't get sex, women don't like greasy hands & the smell of gas
    LMAO>>>>>good one dood

  9. #9
    Nobody knows I'm a dog. TZ Veteran petard's Avatar
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    So what if the engine had a blower intake on it?

    Many thanks to egghead for the cool .sig

  10. #10
    She who must be obeyed Super Moderator piaqt's Avatar
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    Throat yogurt.

    Last night, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
    love, piaqt

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