Well...<sigh> M..m...my name's Style and I....I....oh God, I'm an internet addict. There <sob> I said it. I...it was just the email at first. It felt good, I thought I could handle it. Oh, if only I'd known! Then there was www, ftp, Napster, warez. I just found myself wanting more, and more. I wouldn't eat. Wouldn't sleep. The milkbottles piled up on my doorstep. Friends would ring. I wouldn't answer. Eventually they stopped ringing. My family...oh God, my family...My mother, with worry, took to making a patchwork quilt, feverishly working on it day and night. My father grew a beard and began to bark. The strain of seeing their son consumed in such a fashion consumed them both too. The quilt covers the ground floor of their house. But on the upside my Dad now gets hired to do dog noises for radio shows. Ooooh woe is me! But the worst I haven't yet told you. They say internet sex is safe. But the hit your body takes from getting through two canisters of petroleum jelly in cyber chat rooms is a big one. I daren't go near a smoker. The slightest spark and I could become a human torch. Oh curse the internet! Curse it and its stain upon my family!
just thought i would pop in and see how the place is doing.