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Thread: The British Quiz Show

  1. #1
    Super Moderator Super Moderator Big Booger's Avatar
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    The British Quiz Show

    BRITISH QUIZ SHOWS

    It's hard to believe people like this exist. Some of them are
    determined not to be helped. They must have been born & raised in a deep
    mineshaft and only brought out for these shows!

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
    > Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
    > Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
    >
    > THE WEAKEST LINK
    > Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
    > Contestant: Jool carriageway.
    >
    > Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
    > Contestant: Bombay.
    >
    > Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
    > Contestant: Crocodiles.
    > Anne Robinson: Wh...?
    > Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
    >
    > Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels,
    > travelling entertainers or chocolate
    salesmen?
    > Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
    >
    > Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
    > Contestant: (long pause)
    > Joe?
    >
    > Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
    > Contestant: Geronimo!
    >
    > NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
    > Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
    > Contestant: William Shakespeare.
    >
    > CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC
    > BRISTOL
    > Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
    > Caller: Japan.
    > Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
    > Caller: Er... Mexico?
    >
    > FAMILY FORTUNES
    > 1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword
    >
    > 2) A song
    > with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon
    >
    > 3) Name the capital of France? - F
    >
    > 4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell
    >
    > 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A
    > burglar
    >
    > 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital
    >
    > 7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil
    >
    > A famous Scotsman? - Jock
    >
    > 9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.
    >
    > 10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs
    >
    > 11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water
    >
    > 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A
    > horse
    >
    > 13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair
    >
    > 14) A famous Royal? - Mail
    >
    > 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A
    > bicycle with wings
    >
    > 16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
    >
    > 17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet
    >
    > 1 Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate
    >
    > 19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on
    >
    > 20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police
    >
    > 21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April
    >
    > 22) Something people might be allergic
    > to? - Skiing
    >
    > 23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep
    >
    > 24) Something you put on walls? - A roof
    >
    > 25) Something slippery? - A conman
    >
    > 26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish
    >
    > 27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam
    >
    > 2 A food that can be brown or white? - A potato
    >
    > 29) Something sold by gypsies? -
    > Bananas
    >
    > 30) Something red? - My sweater
    >
    > RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
    > Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
    > Contestant: Barcelona.
    > Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
    > Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any
    > countries in Spain.
    >
    > STEVE
    > WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
    > Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
    > Contestant: India.
    >
    > Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
    > Contestant: Espresso.
    >
    > Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
    > Contestant: Sydney.
    >
    > THIS
    > MORNING
    > Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?
    > Contestant: True?
    > Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show,so I'll give you that.
    >
    > BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
    > Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
    > Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
    >
    > BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
    > Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
    > Contestant: Four
    >
    > BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
    > Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
    > Contestant: Er...
    > Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
    > Contestant: Blimey?
    > Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
    > Contestant: (Silence)
    > Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
    > Contestant: Walked?
    >
    > DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
    > Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
    > Contestant: Holland?
    > Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
    > Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
    > Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
    > Contestant: No.

    got this from tokyotalk.tk


  2. #2
    Old and Cranky Super Moderator rik's Avatar
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    Some are quite amusing...

  3. #3
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  4. #4
    Security Intelligence TZ Veteran cash_site's Avatar
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    --- 0wN3D by 3gG ---

  5. #5
    Silver Member Linedawg's Avatar
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    Lol

  6. #6
    Platinum+ Member z3n's Avatar
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    Well that was my morning coffee entertainment - Cheers BB

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.~ Groucho

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    Titanium Member TZ Veteran Denyse's Avatar
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