One of the strangest qualities of the Sun is that it can make the color of your skin change. And while it is very dangerous to the cells in your epidermis, this practice of changing ones skin color purportedly makes you more socially acceptable in general and desireable to the opposite sex. What geek doesn't want that?
If you get into the deep chemical and engineering science of this process, you'll soon figure out that it's the UV rays that cause this skin color change. And, lucky for you, UV rays are easy to produce in mass quantities of lamps built in China.
Don't let the sun have the monopoly on making people love you more. Get the USB Desktop Tanning center and, in the comfort of your own cubicle, a scrumptiously golden tone can be yours in about the same time it takes you to update your lame blog with another meaningless entry that nobody will ever read. Ever.
Two base units attach to either side of your monitor
4 WOLFFE Ultra-violet 100 watt bulbs
Variable rate knob features three settings (Powder, Tea, Malignant)
Comes with eyeball cover thingies!