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Thread: Speeding...

  1. #1
    Nobody knows I'm a dog. TZ Veteran petard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003


    An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

    Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

    Older Woman: Oh, I see.

    Officer: Can I see your license please?

    Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

    Officer: Don't have one?

    Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

    Older Woman: I can't do that.

    Officer: Why not?

    Older Woman: I stole this car.

    Officer: Stole it?

    Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

    Officer: You what?

    Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you
    want to see.

    The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
    calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A
    senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The
    woman steps out of her vehicle.

    Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car
    and murdered the owner.

    Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

    Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is
    quite stunned.

    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
    it to the officer.

    The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
    have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and
    hacked up the owner.

    Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.


    Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies

    Many thanks to egghead for the cool .sig

  2. #2
    Member mrA's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Tallinn - Estonia
    Hmmm..... *gets in car to see how fast it goes
    Repeat after me: I WILL use Google before asking stupid questions.

    Anatidaephobia: The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.

  3. #3
    Old and Cranky Super Moderator rik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Watching Your every move...
    I didn't know piaqt had a car...

  4. #4
    Security Intelligence TZ Veteran cash_site's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Software Paradise
    Great one!

    --- 0wN3D by 3gG ---

  5. #5
    The Beast Master TZ Veteran PIPER's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Quote Originally Posted by rik View Post
    I didn't know piaqt had a car...


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