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Thread: Latest Diet Idea...

  1. #1
    Nobody knows I'm a dog. TZ Veteran petard's Avatar
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    Latest Diet Idea...

    I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow at
    Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. A woman behind me asked if I had a
    dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
    although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
    time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
    with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
    works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
    or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete.
    So, I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
    enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her.
    Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting
    in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

    The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from
    laughter. I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.

    Many thanks to egghead for the cool .sig

  2. #2
    Techzonez Governor Super Moderator Conan's Avatar
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    Ha-ha!

  3. #3
    The Beast Master TZ Veteran PIPER's Avatar
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  4. #4
    Old and Cranky Super Moderator rik's Avatar
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  5. #5
    She who must be obeyed Super Moderator piaqt's Avatar
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    Oh. My. God. With a straight face, yet.

    Last night, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
    love, piaqt

  6. #6
    Bronze Member Tanglefoot's Avatar
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  7. #7
    Junior Member Spoonman's Avatar
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    I'm hysterical now!
    "Oh, sorry, I was taking life seriously!" - Bill Hicks

  8. #8
    Platinum+ Member z3n's Avatar
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    Brilliant....

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.~ Groucho

  9. #9
    Security Intelligence TZ Veteran cash_site's Avatar
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    Oh that is one of the best so far!

    --- 0wN3D by 3gG ---

  10. #10
    Bronze Member bionicblond's Avatar
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    that is too funny.......
    Knowledge indeed is power;
    Wisdom is knowing whether or not to act on Knowledge.

    Speech is
    silver,but silence is golden.....
    Blondie

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