:) Happy person
:( Sad person
:-) Happy person with a nose
:-( Sad person with a nose
:---( Person who is sad because he or she has a large nose

:-D Person laughing
:-D* Person laughing so hard that he or she does not notice that a 5-legged spider is hanging from his or her lip

:-| Person unsure of which long-distance company to choose

>8-O-(&) Person just realizing that he or she has a tapeworm
;-) Person winking
.-) Person who can still smile despite losing an eyeball
:-0WW Person vomiting a series of Slim Jims
:-Q Person who just had cybersex and is now enjoying a post-coital cybercigarette

>:-Q -... Person who was enjoying a post-coital cigarette until he suddenly noticed, to his alarm, that there is some kind of discharge dribbling from his cybermember

:-{8 Person who is unhappy with the results of her breast-enlargement surgery

:V:-| Person who cannot figure out why nobody wants to talk to him or her, little suspecting that there is an alligator on his or her head

~oE]:-| Fisherperson heading for market with a basket on his or her head containing a three-legged octopus that is giving off smell rays

>:-[ -{9 Person who is none too pleased to be giving birth to a squirrel