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Thread: my mom is dying

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
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    my mom is dying

    ......and I don't know where to turn. I have no social life so I have no friends because all my attention went all to my mom.

    The most dreaded thing that can happen to an elderly woman that prompts a rapid decline to death is breaking the hip. I was so afraid it would happen and it did.

    This was my first home on the internet and interestingly, one of the few I haven't been banned from. I need the support of my old friends here because I'm going through a very difficult time and I have no IRL people I can talk to. If Reverend will be kind enough to allow me to post as my old username: lynchknot, it would probably be better since you would know who is posting this. I have no idea why I cannot get log on information for my old username.

    Wondering what life is worth in Washington

  2. #2
    Techzonez Governor Super Moderator Conan's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that Lynch.

  3. #3
    The Beast Master TZ Veteran PIPER's Avatar
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    ditto to that lynch....prayers are with you.

  4. #4
    Head Honcho Administrator Reverend's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear the sad news.

    BTW, your lynchknot username is still active so you should still be able to get login details, unless the original email you registered with is not live any more.

    =========== Please Read The Forum Rules ===========

  5. #5
    Old and Cranky Super Moderator rik's Avatar
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    As always lynchknot, We are here for you. Thoughts and prayers to you and your Mom.

  6. #6
    Titanium Member efc's Avatar
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    Hello Lynch,

    It is good to hear from you again, although it is painful for it to be under these circumstances. It is interesting that I was cleaning out my email address book a couple weeks ago and found you still listed. Since I had not heard from you in a long long time, I deleted that listing. If you decide that you want to correspond privately, PM me so we can exchange email addresses again.

    Mothers are wonderful. When we are young, they feed us, clean our rooms and clothes, prepare our meals, bandage our cuts and hug us continuously. While fathers teach us to be tough and self reliant, mothers teach us to be human. They teach us to say please and thank-you. They teach us to be kind to others. I could continue listing things our mother does for us, but the list would go on forever.

    There is no easy way through this but here are a few suggestions that I would make. If your mother is still conscience, talk to her about good times in the past and the things she taught you. If she is not awake, do it anyway. My guess is that she will hear you anyway.

    When the time comes, you will have to grieve. There is no magic way to get through it. There are many books on the subject. Most towns have organizations to deal with it. And don't forget that every community has many churches that are available to you. If you are not affiliated with one, just pick one that looks friendly and enter. Tell them that you are dealing with grief and you need to talk to the minister. To me the most important thing is to be around people doing every day things. Over time, little by little, the pain is replaced with memories of the good times.
    Linux Mint Debian Edition

  7. #7
    She who must be obeyed Super Moderator piaqt's Avatar
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    lynch, I remember how kind you were when my sister died. If there's anything.... let me know.

    Last night, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
    love, piaqt

  8. #8
    Nobody knows I'm a dog. TZ Veteran petard's Avatar
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    We're here for you. Always have been, always will.

    Many thanks to egghead for the cool .sig

  9. #9
    Hardware guy Super Moderator FastGame's Avatar
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    Hi LK_usergame, you need a service call ?

    Everything will be ok and you'll be rewarded for spending your life taking care of your mom, not many have that trait.

  10. #10
    FatPipez TZ Veteran MSNwar's Avatar
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    Sincerest condolences. I know how close you are and I sincerely feel for you man.
    Avatar by Brudda EggHead

  11. #11
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    Thanks for your kind and thoughtful words. She is not on her deathbed but she can be. She must take a painful shot every early morning to keep from developing a blood clot that will kill her. She is in a recovery center but will be coming home. I have my work cut out for me now because she won't be able to move on her own - so bathroom, food, everything will have to be managed by me.

    This is when the rapid decline starts, when seniors lose mobility. She's already broke her left wrist once, and then her right elbow. Her elbow was replaced with a metal one. She kept falling in the house because her brain tumor makes her dizzy.

    Quote Originally Posted by efc View Post

    When the time comes, you will have to grieve. There is no magic way to get through it. There are many books on the subject. Most towns have organizations to deal with it. And don't forget that every community has many churches that are available to you. If you are not affiliated with one, just pick one that looks friendly and enter. Tell them that you are dealing with grief and you need to talk to the minister. To me the most important thing is to be around people doing every day things. Over time, little by little, the pain is replaced with memories of the good times.
    Thanks EFC, this is how I dealt with my dad's death (webTV days): http://home.comcast.net/~lynchknot/page5.html
    http://home.comcast.net/~lynchknot/xtra.html

    Fastgame, believe it or not this NF7S is still running 24/7! It's my only PC and never has problems! Same HD and running BT all the time. I'm a member of a private BT group. Invites are available......

    I have tried all the emails I can remember using but none seem to work to recover log in information.
    Last edited by usergame; August 20th, 2007 at 05:19 AM.

  12. #12
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    May I ask how old she is?

    I second the "go to a church" idea. It should be the one place you can guarantee people will care. Of course some are clichéd stereotypes but hopefully you could find one with caring folk. In such a church, you can hope to find people who will not only talk to you but come visit/talk to your mum too, and you could both gain some friends.

  13. #13
    My Name is.... TZ Veteran Stripe's Avatar
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    Glad to see you Lynch, although I wish it was better times.

    We're definately hear for you and we'll help you out as much as we can.

  14. #14
    Friendly Neighborhood Super Moderator phishhead's Avatar
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    Nice to see you again lynch. Hey take your time with this one man. its not like taking the trash out. This will take several years to overcome when it happens. And like EFC said. No one can take your memories of her away. I know I've had several moments in the last few yrs that you guys helped me with. So like all the other members said we're here for you bro if you need someone to talk this thru with.



  15. #15
    Precision Processor Super Moderator egghead's Avatar
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    Hi Lynchknot good to hear from you. Very sorry to hear the news. I recommend that you get in touch with a support group such as a local church or something as the road ahead is uphill and it sounds like one you cannot take alone.

    Be strong for your mom and yourself.
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