19 WAYS TO BE A MAN.

1. Never put the toilet seat up and ALWAYS make sure some dribbles land on the floor.

2. When she asks you to do something you don't want to do, say "yeah", then forget about it until she asks you again, then snap "Stop Nagging me, do it yourself!!"

3. Drink beer.

4. When you go out, tell her you're meeting with mates to talk about (choose from one of the following - Cars or Sport -) then get drunk and talk about girls all night.

5. NEVER under ANY circumstance must you relinquish the remote control.

6. If you want to get out of the dog house, talk down about your ex- girlfriends (they love it) but NEVER compare them……. ever !!!

7. When she asks you to do some chores, tell her “You’re not my mother !!” , then expect her to cook, clean, iron and pack your lunch.

8. Drink beer

9. Repressing bodily functions should be held no longer than the 4th date or 2nd sexual encounter (which ever comes first)

10. Brush off open wounds and broken bones as trivial, but when you get a cold ask for a little bed bell.

11. Even when you do understand her, still look puzzled.

12. The GOLDEN RULE – Remember this if anything: It is ALWAYS easier to apologies than to ask permission.

13. Drink beer

14. If you plan on inviting over a few mates around dinner time, don’t mention anything until it’s dinner time and she comes out and offers.

15. If you need a favour, this comment is your best friend, “ Dang… that/those dress/pants makes your butt look small.” (Only use this in emergencies – it has a small shelf life)

16. Snore, and deny it… no matter what…. Just deny it.

17. Leave everything on the floor.

18. Do the dishes badly, that way it’s quicker for her to do them than argue and then have to do them again anyway.

19. and finally……. Yep…. You guessed it…. Drink more beer.