Old Bob

Bob liked to frequent the Newfoundland beaches but was never able to
attract the girls.

He decided to ask his friend, Jarge the lifeguard, for advice. "It's
those big baggy swimming trunks that make you look like an old bloke.
They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of
Speedos - about two sizes too small, and drop a fist-sized potato down inside
them.
I'm telling ya man...you'll have all the babes you want!"

The following weekend, Bob hits the beach with his spanking new tight
Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was
disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing!

Bob went back to Jarge the lifeguard and asked him, "What's wrong
now?"
"Lard-Tunderin Jeezus by!" said Jarge, "the potato goes in the front!"