Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your
mind during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can
either hit one more club or two more balls.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the
foursome ahead of you is still putting out, youhave two options: you can
immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share
his ideas about your golf swing.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to
play worse.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents'

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf
course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces
just the way you meant to play it.

You can hit a two-acre fairway 10% of the time and a
two-inch branch 0% of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take
it up at a much earlier age.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot
is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always
look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the
ball if you ever want to see it again.

If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does,
simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the
speed of his back-swing by his handicap; ie., back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 300 mph.

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker,
your ball is in the bunker; If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00
to mow the yard.

A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from
giving up the game.

A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than
you are.. that's why I get so many calls to play with friends.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a
six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.